How it All Began…again.

Posted: May 25, 2010 in Uncategorized

Okay, well here’s my problem in a nutshell:

This is not my first blog. You see, I had another blog with a similar address on Blogger and due to some bizarre twisted turn of unhappy chance thanks to Google, my blog was deleted and could not be retrieved. Naturally, my jaw dropped and spent the next 3 hours wiping the floor in my wake while my stomach acid rose dangerously close to my throat, threatening to melt the laptop that later on screwed me over with the blue screen of death when I was just finished writing my first blog entry on WordPress. On the plus side, while my eyeballs made sweet love to the laptop screen at the sight of “this address is no longer available”, my awful PMS was put to a humorous end. Yes. The shock I received actually triggered my menstruation. This is one of those stories I will be telling my grandchildren in high hopes that they’ll come to respect me as the woman who “bled” her pants in desperation. Oh, yeah. Sweet glory.

Anyway, for the bajillionth time, I am going to introduce the topic of this blog despite the fact that the title makes it abundantly clear. Yes, folks. I will be talking about reincarnation. Why?

Because I can.

As a Muslim, I wasn’t all too confident with the theory of reincarnation. I was raised to believe in that whole Heaven-and-Hell, God-hates-Satan, Praise-Be-to-Allah thing. Not saying that I haven’t come to respect religion. Heavens, no. I respect all religions but in return, I expect others to respect my beliefs and believe it or not, I have been harshly censured for my relatively new fascination with reincarnation.
While perusing the shelves of a local bookstore, I overheard a soccer mom ask a rather bean-polish employee where the books on sex education for young children were. Apparently, they were beside the Miley Cyrus collection of intellectual readings but I digress. I had stumbled upon a book titled Who Were You? It mostly detailed methods and different approaches to discovering your past identity (that title also makes it extremely obvious). Now, when I purchased the book I had this clear notion that I was going to use it for one purpose and one purpose only: to help me write the novel [on reincarnation] I had been working on for a few months. I never actually thought it would end up being my Bible…or my Qur’an. I took it everywhere with me. I ate with it. I slept beside it. I went through cheesy montages with it and the more I read, the more I realized that having a past life is not that far-fetched. If you think about it, it might actually fill a lot of those pesky gaps in your life. For you to understand what I mean, you’ll have to get to know me a little better.

I am Sandy Abdallah. And I hate that fact of life. My entire life, I have never felt comfortable in my skin. When I was younger, I dreamed of being someone else, literally.  Those who know me understand that I don’t fit in and I’m not talking about that teen angst “I don’t fit in, let me find an appropriate corner to slit my wrists and cry out a few depressing verses from my poem, Hack and Slash.” I always felt I was born in the wrong century. It’s enough to say that I am and have always been addicted to Victorian England, England itself, Victorian literature, Victorian architecture, Victorian dress (male only), Victorian…well, no, not Victorian values.
I am a portrait sketcher (particularly fond of the male physique). I am a painter. I am a writer and poet. I love to read and despise television. I consider classical music to be the genre of the gods and all modern “artists” a bunch of diarrhea-of-the-mouth-stricken f!#@-ups. Well, some are good but they’re very rare.

I am 18 years-old and a student attending the American University of Beirut. My intended major is English Literature and like all those sensible enough to decide on a BA in English Literature, I am somewhat a rare species educated amongst hordes of Biology, Business, Engineering and Architecture majors…to my dismay, of course.

Hopefully, you would have taken note of the pattern in my personality. I do hate being female but not for any reason I can think of. Last I checked, I’m fine biologically and psychologically. A woman’s body just doesn’t feel familiar to me. It feels odd and inappropriate. I can assure you, I am definitely a heterosexual incapable of finding anything attractive in a woman’s physique (artistically speaking). I do, however, respect all women who are proud of their vaginae and living their lives happily. It’s just not my life, girls. I’m sorry.

Based on all of this, my friends and I began joking about the possibility of having past lives. They didn’t know it but those jokes held more gravity than anything I’d ever believed in and now, I seek to discover who I might have once been. My theories are just theories and are not to  be taken %100 seriously. But for the sake of being entertained, you might want to take a deeper look into reincarnation. To be aware of and understand one’s past life is a wonderful and terrifying challenge.

One I am totally up for.

– The Sandman

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Comments
  1. Wajeb says:

    Hey don’t know if you remember me from school.. you used to call me “what’s his face” 😛
    Anyway this is the first time I read your work, and all I gotta say for now is Don’t Stop!
    This is real nice stuff.

    • thesandman16 says:

      Haha, heyyy, What’shisface! It’s been a while! =P How have you been, Wajeb? I remember you clearly lol.

      Thanks a lot. Comments like yours keep me motivated. Stay awesome.

      Sandy.

      • Wajeb says:

        I’ll be sure to follow your blog from now on =))
        Yeah it’s been a while, but I guess I’ll be seeing you at AUB next year..
        tc

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