A Soul Can Smile.

Posted: June 5, 2010 in Uncategorized

Now, dear readers, this post might seem irrelevant but I assure you, what I’m about to tell you is of extreme significance. Tofy, I haven’t forgotten your question but I’m going to have to delay my response until after I write this. This is something I haven’t shared with many people but it’s a story I want to share with all of you.

Let me tell you how I first fell in love with the classical genre. I was young, about 12 to 13 years-old and by that age, I had reluctantly given away my toys and turned to literature for not only entertainment but companionship as well. My books were all that I knew at that point and all that I had needed, I thought…and yet I always had this nagging sensation; this constant pang for something I was missing. Hardly are people aware of a gap until they stumble through it but no, I knew. There was music in the countless poems I consumed every bright morning and dull evening but I was deaf to it as far as I was concerned. I could feel it reverberate through every rhyme but where was it? And then something happened. One night while I sat under my wide open window trying my luck at understanding a complicated poem — its title I can’t even recall — I heard the most wonderful sound coming from outside, from a neighboring apartment. It was hushed, muffled, faint but so inviting and so powerful. I removed myself my bed as fast as my body would allow and I began to wander through the corridor, searching for some way to get closer to that beautiful noise, planting my ear against every wall until there it was. The echo in the bathroom. A pipe that ran throughout the entire building had brought me that sensational melody and I was so desperate to hear it clearly that I pushed my face against the cold tile and I was so silent, I could have sworn that I had forgotten to breathe. It was still unclear and the vibrations had distorted most of music but I couldn’t get myself to stop listening. It was slow and so delicate, as if every note had been touched, caressed by the hand of Magnificence and every voice that cried for mercy cried for it in perfect, harmonious unison. Once it stopped, I remember standing there with my cold cheek against the now warm slab of smooth stone, hoping that there would be more. But there wasn’t…not for days, weeks, or months after that.
Years had passed and I had already discovered classical music but to no avail that one composition that moved me so deeply, so profoundly. I knew there would be nothing like it, as though it silenced all other pieces and genres that preceded and followed. It had made everything else dull and lifeless…and obsolete.
After some time, I gave up the idea that I would find it and just made do with other compositions written by great composers: Beethoven, Bach, Tchaikovsky, Chopin and so on. I had even learned to play a few on my humble little keyboard.
And then, a miracle. Last October, at the age of 17, I heard it again. The television in the living room had been forgotten and the music came to me so suddenly that I hadn’t recognized it until I felt that familiar pang in my chest and throat. There it was…Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart had come into my life and changed it thereafter. Lacrimosa was all I breathed day and night and every time I heard that climatic finish, the final “Amen” that erupted so beautifully, I wept. And as those tears rolled down my cheeks and spilled over my trembling lips, I felt the most terrifying and wonderful thing; my soul from deep within me had smiled.

Some people say it’s silly to feel such things because even if the soul exists, it cannot smile. Perhaps those people have yet to encounter what I had encountered at such a young age. A miracle; a coincidence; a happy turn of chance, whatever you want to call it. What’s important is that it happened to me and though it may seem so insignificant to you, it meant the world to me and still does.
If reincarnation is true then I can only hope that Mozart’s soul, wherever it may be, is smiling back at me.

– The Sandman

  1. tofy says:

    wow, well 2 b honest i can relate… i stumbled upon music (other than my piano) when the commercial for Napoleon Dynamite blessed my cheap tv, i heard that soundtrack and i was IN LOVE, i would later use my cam-corder to record the commercial, and i recorded the prom-scene in Napoleon dynamite as well… i heard the song for the first time at 15, it was Alphaville’s Forever Young, the smooth cool synths moved me happy, but i didnt have the sensation that u felt to tht intensity… another melody im very attached is one i heard during a BBC documentary called “Whatever happened to the gender-benders?” an 80’s thing, and one particular melody energized me and it was a gale of feelings that i have no words for, it is stuck in my head, i dnt kno who its for, and the documentary was removed from you-tube, so so much for the credits…. i hope this helps and isnt just blabbering…

  2. hi do you mind if i post a review?

    I love your way of self expression and that your blogs theme goes very well with the content. One thing you could do to get more readers is maybe just add some pictures in your posts it will make them seem less overwhelming 😉 just trying to help

    Christian from:

    • thesandman16 says:

      Lol thanks a lot for commenting! I’m so glad you like it.

      Haha, I love putting pictures in my posts! I have plenty in my older ones. =P

      I appreciate the help though.

      – Sandy.

  3. Omar says:

    i think what u encountered has an actual spiritual definition… a Mantra. Its like a melody or phrase or something that soul always says/sings…even subconsiously
    i think i know what mine is…i had this strange melody stuck in my head for as long as i remember, and i cant remember from where. and i still havent heard it anyplace else…i’ll sing it for u someday :]

  4. Omar says:

    i love the new theme design btw :]

  5. Ihsan says:

    Hey Sandman,
    I was actually just listening to Lacrimosa before reading the last bit in your blog, I remembered you. I believe what you said about the soul smiling, because personally it happens to me every time I pick up my guitar.
    I share a same experience with a song that moved me when i first heard it, granted not as much as your encounter did with you, but I literally spent months on end not being able to sleep unless “Home” by Above and Beyond was playing. It took me to places I could only be in my head at night, those days were wonderful. Ok, now im just being nostalgic.
    I just want to say that its not silly. You had the chance of witnessing one of the most wonderful moments of being alive.

    P.S: I miss you and Omar, and maybe “random person” :P. I love what you’ve done with the blog. Keep it up darling, stay amazing.

    Oh and here is the link to the song incase someone would like to check it out:

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